ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
The beer is more important than you right now.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
