Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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