We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
