In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
