I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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