I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
