i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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