True but thats because hes a fetus.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
