Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
