so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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