As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
