Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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