We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
