There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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