I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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