I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
