smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
the liver wants what the liver wants
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
