Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
sarcasm needs its own font
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
