DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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