belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
