operation harelip BJ is a go
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
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