12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
