The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
