I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
