I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
