So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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