oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
