and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
