The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
