I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Randomize
