how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Randomize
