I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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