Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
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