physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
