There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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