I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
