Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
