Kareoke will never be a sober sport
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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