he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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