this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
