dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
