when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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