there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
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