i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm passing your future prison.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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