google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
