you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
