I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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