Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
