If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
im about as happy as oj after his trial
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
