I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
