I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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