So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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