I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
