it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
