did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
